“God Doesn’t Want Me to Give Up Wine for Lent”

It was a gloomy day in the beginning of Lent and my husband was away for work. A friend was dropping off our two little girls at home. She walked into a crisis, as one of our kids had just been bit by the dog they were teasing. I cleaned it up and rushed out to pick up our two oldest from their practices. With all six children in tow, we headed home to do all the evening things. I ran into Rite Aid to grab butterfly bandages, liquid stitch and wine. While I had given up wine for Lent, we were just a few days in. I had reached my limit of what I could handle and made an excuse to grab some.  To my surprise, they didn’t have a single item that I went in for. I returned to the van to screaming children; for one reason or another, everyone was crying except for my teenagers. With the rain hammering the windshield, I said to God, “You gave me these children. You said you wouldn’t give me anything I couldn’t handle. I could really use some help.” I pulled into my driveway and my phone dinged. It was my friend. She texted, “I am at the store, can I get you butterfly bandages, liquid stitch or some wine?” I responded, “Yes to all of the above!” Then, I text my husband, “God doesn’t want me to give up wine for Lent”, seeing it as an answered prayer. Hahaha

You see, I didn’t prepare myself at all for Lent. I was running here and there and didn’t take time to ask the Lord to lead me in this discernment. Ash Wednesday came and I just said. “I guess I’ll just give up wine.” I have learned my lesson and I don’t think I’ve given up wine since. In the weeks leading up to Lent I ask the Lord to show me how He wants me to grow. I ask Him to show me where I am to give alms, what type of fasting I should do and how to grow in prayer? One year, I had the idea for our family to make sandwhiches for the homeless downtown. There are eight of us and we’d make ten sandwhiches each, saying a Hail Mary with each sandwhich for the recipient. I thought this was a solid plan, but God spoke to me and pointed me in another direction. One of our children had been bringing a couple of kids home from school, from time to time. God said to me, “Feed them”. I was like, “That’s great and all, I can still do that, but I can do these sandwiches, too.” God redirected me again and told me to just feed them. Irritated and feeling like I wasn’t doing enough, I agreed because I have learned to listen.

So, I fed the them. After school I’d make them food and talk to them about their day. I made sure to have snacks they liked if I knew they were coming over. As I started to build a relationship with them, I learned things about them and their families. To honor their privacy, I will just say that their needs were not being met at home and they had been neglected in more ways than one. They felt cared for in our home, just having someone there to make sure they ate and someone asking about their day. These little acts changed their lives, which, at the time, we had no idea. The teens asked our child to teach them how to pray. One started going to church with us and the other started going to church somewhere else, even bringing their family along. Sharing God’s love with them enkindled a fire deep within to seek the Lord. They transformed before our eyes and it was beautiful for us to witness.

I’m not sure how the Lord wants me grow this year, but I am excited to start the journey. Excited for Lent?! Yes, I have come to really love this time of year. Maybe I am more committed with reminders all around, but this is definitely a time of struggle and welcomed growth. Go to the Lord, tell Him you only want to do His will and ask Him to lead you in this journey ahead. Who knows, maybe He doesn’t want you give up wine for Lent after all. God bless you and your families this Lenten season.