“I Can’t See Jesus”

My three-year-old daughter has a unique gift to bring a smile and joy wherever she goes. Always. Maybe it’s her ridiculously cute laugh, her Disney princess eyes, or her smile; but she is just too much sometimes (in a good way of course). She makes it difficult for me to be grumpy when I want to be. When I would rather sit and pout about my day, she would much rather pick me up with her cheeky grin and giggles because she wants to play a game or just be silly.

She is also one of the Lord’s favorite ways of teaching me the most seemingly simple, yet profound truths lately… Often, lessons I take for granted or never really spend any “real” time putting into practice – no matter how true I know those lessons to be.

Recently, we had one of “those mornings.” You know, where no one can find their shoes, everyone needs to use the bathroom at once, someone peed the bed, and someone else had a blow out in their diaper… and there is only 30 minutes before we need to leave for Mass… Did I mention both of the boys also managed to outgrow their “Sunday best” pants seemingly overnight?

When we surrendered to the fact that there was no way we were going to make our usual Mass time, we managed to limp our way into a different church, feeling defeated… and unprepared. But, knowing we must be holy… or at least look like it when we walk in… and act like we wanted to be there after a “rough” morning.  

It seemed to me as if everyone in the church must have had the same morning we did. Right from the start, I found myself distracted. Focused on all the wrong things, and critical, I half heartedly participated in the Mass… more as a spectator than anything else. The music was not the greatest for the Liturgy that morning… it bothered me. No one looked happy to be there… it bothered me. We got a few stink eyes for the youngest boy being a bit louder than normal and fighting with his sister over who gets to sit where… it bothered me. I really didn’t understand the homily or how it related to the readings… it bothered me. That lady really doesn’t like that my wife and daughters wear veils (by their own choice) to Mass… it bothered me. People were talking loudly through the consecration prayer… it bothered me. What didn’t seem to bother me was the fact that I was forgetting the most important thing: Despite all of what was going on around me, despite my crazy morning, Christ was there, just as he always is. Wanting me to encounter him; wanting to encounter me. Wanting me to receive him Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity in order that I may abide in him and he in me. So that I may have the hope of glory within… That I may recognize that this is also true of those around me.

I wish I would have come to that conclusion on my own. But I did not. When it came time to stand for the Our Father, my little sweet three-year-old daughter began to tug on me and stretch out her arms in the universal “pick me up” sort of way, and she said, “I can’t see Jesus!” “I can’t see Jesus!” Immediately, I was wrecked. In a good way! In a needed way! She taught me something. More accurately, the Lord used her once again, to speak something to my heart.

From her perspective, all she could really see is the backs of pews and… well, the behinds of people. Let’s be honest… in all ways, her level is not the best vantage point in terms of sights (sounds and smells too I suppose). It can be very hard to see Jesus when we have a similar perspective; whether literally or figuratively. My daughter had the right perspective that morning. Not me. She came to see Jesus, and she expected to see him; to experience his presence and she was determined despite whatever may be going on around her, despite her vantage point, despite whatever obstacles may be in her way, she was going to see him!   

“I can’t see Jesus!” She needed me to lift her up so she could see Jesus. Then, I realized, so do I! So do all of us! When we can’t see Jesus in the behavior of those around us, when we can’t see Jesus in the stink eyes and the moans and groans, when we can’t see Jesus in the faces of those who have given up an hour of their day to spend time with him – but look more like they just came from a funeral (including myself that morning) – when we can’t see Jesus in the words and behaviors of others, when we can’t see Jesus in the mirror…

We need someone to pick us up and help us to turn our eyes toward him, to have a better and higher perspective, to see Jesus! St Patrick wrote the words, “Christ in the eye of everyone who sees me, Christ in the ear of everyone that hears me, Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me, Christ in the mind of everyone who thinks of me.” That is what we are to aspire to! That is the life to which we are called. He must increase, I must decrease (John 3:30). We must allow the love of Christ to dwell in us (Col 3:16), to conform us to his image so that others may see him in and through us. In the words of St Paul, “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Gal 2:20). What if we were as the Scriptures say, the living, breathing, walking Bible we are called to be (2 Cor 3:2-3)? For a world starving for the love of God, the only way they can see Jesus is if we get out of the way and let his light shine through us.

That is helping others to see Jesus. That is answering the cry that really is deep within all our hearts, “I can’t see Jesus.” Would you help me? Would you pick me up and help me to see Jesus? We need each other. Scripture says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (Prov 27:17). Sometimes the hardest place to see Jesus is in the mirror, in my own heart. That morning my daughter picked me up and said, “This is you. This is what you are made for. This is what you are supposed to look like. Now, I see Jesus.” For our children, and for the world around us, it is more often the case that the Christ others know is the Christ we show them through our words, through our deeds, through our thoughts. It’s past time we help others to see Jesus.

Where is Hell?

A while ago, I stumbled upon a video series by Fr. Chad Ripperger on the Four Last Things—Death, Judgement, Heaven, and Hell—and it changed my life. I went from a Catholic who would identify herself as lukewarm, to one truly desiring more than anything in life, to inherit the riches of the eternal kingdom and live a life of virtue (still working on it… with Christ all things are possible!).

After watching these videos, and acknowledging how transformative learning about the realities of Heaven and Hell were, I found myself asking “Where is Hell?”

NOT “Where is Hell” in terms of a physical location… but where is Hell in the Church? Where are the homilies about Hell? Where is the healthy daily meditation about the reality of death? Many Saints used to have skulls in their living spaces—not out of a morbid interest for deadly décor—but to remind themselves that this life is fleeting, and we are invited to meditate on death and eternal life to come. Where has Hell gone? Is it ridiculous to WANT a homily about Hell occasionally?

Here is my reasoning… and genuine fear with the lack of conversation and teaching on this topic:

The Devil will never cease in the pursuit of souls (1 Pet 5:8); he chose eternity apart from He who is Love (God) and wants to drag each person to that same fate. How? Spiritual warfare; leading us to turn away from God in sin… yes, of course! But also, by getting the majority to ignore him (the Devil) and to believe God and evil are not real and thus sin is not real. Perhaps we see this in the wide-spread belief that every person is “in a better place” after death. How could we know that? — (apart from those canonized of course).

The only conclusion to this dangerous (and false) mentality that is a result of the culture of silence is… If God is not real and there is no such thing as sin, then naturally we can live however we choose and there will be no eternal consequence! This is the opposite of Truth!

The Devil loves hiding in the darkness… because he can do SO MUCH damage from the shadows.

Therefore the Church is called to teach Truth! “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations… teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you” (Mt 28: 19-20). Hell is a real place, and there is every possibility that our souls may go there after death.

Now, these teachings are not meant to incite unhealthy fear! They are meant to grow the love we have for the one God who desires nothing more than our eternal beatitude in Heaven! (Latin: beatus meaning happy, blissful, fortunate, flourishing.) How so? Because the joy and eternal blessings we are made for in Heaven comes by being united to Him who is LOVE, surrounded by nothing except God himself, and wanting nothing for ourselves apart from unity with God. If this is Heaven, then Hell is the antithesis; Hell is being completely separated from God… completely separated from Love.

As we bring ourselves to learn more about the realities of the afterlife, it should bring us to understand the deep love God has for us. So great is his love, that if we choose ourselves in this life—meaning if we choose to ignore his will, separate ourselves from his love, his mercy, his grace, as evident by how we live our lives—he will honor that free choice. He will grant us this choice to live apart from his love eternally. And he grants this OUT OF LOVE. God is love (1 Jn 4:8), and can do nothing but love us. Even love us to Hell…

But God’s same response goes for those that desire to inherit eternal life and strive for that union of Love with the Spirit in this life. “What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him” (Lk 11:11-15).

God has great gifts in store for us. One of those, if we so choose, is eternal beatitude in heaven! Perhaps one of his greatest gifts on earth, however, is his mercy! Christ came to call sinners (Lk 5:32). An understanding of death, judgement, Hell, or Heaven should ultimately lead us closer to God’s eternal love! It should encourage us to RUN to his endless mercy. The Church has an endless outpouring of this grace and mercy in the Sacraments. God desires you to live with him one day in Heaven. He knows we are sinful and that we can’t do it apart from him… so he GIVES US HIMSELF in the Sacraments to help us along in this “valley of tears.”

The more we understand and meditate on our own death, the greater our love for God grows and our hearts are prepared for the transformation God intends to bring in and through us!

For more on the Four Last Things be sure to check out Fr. Ripperger’s series!

Biblical evidence for Hell:

·         Mt 3:12

·         Mt 25: 41, 46

·         Mk 9: 47-48 (referencing Isaiah 66:24)

·         2 Thess 1:6-9

·         Rev 20:10

·         Judith 16:17

Click for more passages and quotes from the Early Church Fathers.

Depiction of Mt 7: 13-14