An Offer

There are a lot of debates currently happening in our country due to a leaked potential Supreme Court decision regarding Roe v. Wade. Some of these debates are more philosophically grounded than others, some don’t even attempt to start from a place of reason. There’s a place for such discussions, but I really don’t want to add to the overwhelming noise, so here’s what my response is to all the emotional and political chaos:

I'm not going to give you reasons or debates on the matter of children in the womb, all I have is an offer: if you ever find yourself facing an unexpected or difficult pregnancy and are struggling to keep yourself and your baby afloat and thriving, send me a dm, text me, I'll do what I can. 

I'll call every person I've ever had a $5 cup of coffee with and ask if they'll give up the next four cups for a friend of mine, I'll call every "pro-life" person I know and tell them it's time to back their beliefs and help pay for your prenatal care or diapers or counseling or your rent or formula or hospital bills. 

I'll do my best to listen to you in the hardest moments and be part of your village so that you don't have to choose between your future and your baby's future. 

Five mamas who I've never met gave five of my siblings life. They're unsung heroes who I'll never be able to repay, but perhaps I could walk with another young mom and help her nourish and nurture her growing baby's life. 

Sure there might be important decisions happening in the courts, but I think the most important decisions are being made in some painful moments in the hearts of young women. No one should feel alone or ashamed in this. I'll do whatever I can for you.

That was my social media post a few days ago, perhaps someone will see it and reach out someday. Perhaps they won’t. But, at the end of the day, if every young woman in your life, your daughters, your nieces, your coworkers, your barista, your nurse, your child’s teacher, the woman in the back pew of your church knew you were someone they could approach when they’re at their breaking point, the courts might not have to end abortion, we could.

Take Her Into Your Home

There are few places I prefer to pray more than the Portiuncula, on the campus of Franciscan University. A few years ago, I was on campus for a conference. It was a hot humid day and a storm was moving in. As it began to thunder, and the rain became heavy, I didn’t want to leave. Here, so many times I have found peace, direction from the Lord, reassurance and comfort, and I wanted that again.

I had come feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders; tired, burned out and stressed. Amidst the joys of the conference, I still found myself thinking about seemingly hopeless situations that had only seemed to become more hopeless. Yet in the stillness and quiet, tucked back in the trees with only the sound of the rain and occasional thunder, an incredible peace came over me.

It was while sitting in the middle of the grotto, as the rain became more and more heavy, soaked through and through (even ruined my cell phone), just me and Our Lady, that a peace came over me. I felt such a loving and comforting embrace that suddenly everything else mattered little, even the fact that I was so wet. It was as if the Blessed Mother had taken me into her arms and said, “Rest my son, and do not worry.” I will never forget this moment. Sure, I “knew” all the doctrine about Mary. But this was the first time I had come to experience what it means to say “Mother Mary” in a real way.

Here I really saw how significant Christ, while bleeding out and dying on the Cross, giving us his Mother, truly is. Jesus said to his Mother, “Behold your son;” and to his beloved disciple, “Behold your Mother.” Scripture then affirms that from that day, this beloved disciple “took her into his home.” We to, as beloved disciples must take her into our homes, and allow the love of the Mother of God to penetrate our hearts as only that of a faithful mother can. Her heart is to draw us ever closer to the source of peace that surpasses all understanding: her son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Random Pieces

Recently, I made my way across the country to speak to students at Franciscan University of Steubenville. Unbeknownst to me, a major winter storm had erupted right in the middle of my path. What should have been a sixteen-hour drive, turned into about 24 hours… a painfully slow, and at times frightening experience (You will hear more about this storm in a future podcast episode). At one point, it took three hours to move fourteen miles… It WAS THAT bad.

I am not always the most patient person when I am going 7 miles an hour in a 70mph zone… Recognizing that, I thought I would distract myself with a few podcasts that I like to listen to from time to time. The discussion was on board game design; in particular, what makes a good rule book. The host (who is someone I profoundly respect for his genuine niceness and sincerity) said something to this effect: “A good rule book should inspire. It should breathe life into this seemingly meaningless box of pieces and give them a decisive purpose. It should demonstrate how what you have been given is to be used and enjoyed, not just for yourself but those around you. It should inspire you to recognize purpose and meaning and that this is not just a box of random pieces. Everything has its purpose and place, and when that vision is grasped, it finds its meaning.”

I found myself meditating on that profound truth… in a discussion about board games… rule books of all things… for most of the remaining drive.

What does this podcast about board games and rule books have to do with our faith? Well, first, the Bible is not simply a “rule book” in the usual sense, it is something so much more! Something more like those “good rule books” that inspire (which, I promise, do exist… and so do board games that are that good… I am looking at you Viticulture, Scythe, and Wingspan).

Scripture is one of the primary places where we encounter Christ and his great love for us. Where we meet the very person who knit us together in our mother’s womb (Ps 139:13). It is where we encounter the One who created us with a very specific purpose in mind; not just for our own benefit, but for the world around us.

Christianity is primarily about a whom; not a what. It is ultimately about relationship and encounter. The more profoundly one encounters the person of Jesus Christ and the deeper one grows in relationship with him, he “breathes life into the seemingly meaningless” moments, struggles, relationships, or experiences in our lives. Christ breathes meaning into us… the “pieces” and he gives meaning to the “rule book” because it all points to a relationship centered on love.

In that encounter with Christ and His word, in the witness of his grace at work in the lives of the saints, and in the teachings of the Church handed down to us by the successors of the Apostles, we find that the lives we have been given are not just random chance. What is before me is not just a box full of random pieces without any real meaning or purpose.

It is here that we discover the answers to the questions that have been at the forefront of man’s heart for countless ages, “What is my purpose? Where am I going? Why am I here?” It is here that the “rule book” given to us by Christ inspires, breathes life into us and we find our decisive purpose. Love God. Love your neighbor as yourself.

Here we discover our purpose and can say without hesitation: “I was created by love, for love, to love. I am created for loving communion with God and with people. Called to the life of heaven. I am made to know him, love him, serve him so that I can be happy with him in heaven. I am made for two reasons: for the glory of God and the salvation of souls. First my own, then those entrusted to my care and all the Lord may put along my path to love. Everything else is the rest.  He calls me to perfection and holiness (Mat 5:48). Yet, he does not call me to an impossible task because he has given me a helper (Jn 14:16-21; Acts 1:8). Will I make mistakes? Yes. No matter how many times I read the “rule book” … I will make mistakes… I won’t always “win” each game, but he gives me the directions to grow. I get better. I can learn the strategy from that great cloud of witnesses (Heb 12:1). I strive to win the ultimate prize which is heaven. It is worth it and it is why I am here.”

It is a process. It takes time. It takes dedication. It takes passion. It takes great love.

“To Love is to be Vulnerable”

I remember sitting in my dorm room, mad at God, because he called me to the vocation of marriage and here I was (a sophomore in college) not having met my husband. (I was CLEARLY past the age of hope to find love… *please note the sarcasm*).

Sarcasm aside, I had my fair share of heartache, tears, mistakes, wounds, and loneliness. I remember writing in my journal about my heart and telling God I wanted to give him my heart. Don’t be fooled, though. This was not the kind of “give God your heart” that he actually asks for. You know… to love him, to serve him, to pray to him, to rely on him, to trust in him, the list goes on. Honestly, maybe I thought it was at the time. I thought I was doing something selfless and perhaps romantically heroic by giving God my heart. But, I found that journal entry a while ago. I read it. And I felt sorry for the young college girl who wrote it.

As I read through it, it didn’t seem like a genuine “giving” of one’s heart. It read as if I was throwing my heart at God… almost in a way to say, “Here! You take it! I don’t want it anymore!” Like all the hurt and loneliness left me utterly hopeless that God would ever answer my prayers. So, I decided to throw it away… lock it away “for God” (*insert air quotes*). In this heartbreaking journal entry, I saw the truth of the two years that followed. As I read, I could visibly see the wall that I erected around my heart. For the next two years I refused to date or to let anyone remotely get to know me. I became undeniably independent. The only person who truly knew me was God.

In this entry, I wrote, “My heart is locked away in a box buried underground in an abandoned cave.” I guess this was my version of “giving my heart” to God…??? I remember reading a passage from CS Lewis that changed everything, though. It shocked my heart back to life… or I should say God did. The passage said:

To love at all is to be vulnerable… Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it up carefully… wrap it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable… To love is to be vulnerable.

I believe this excerpt was placed in front of me by God. I had done exactly this. I wanted to keep my heart safe so I locked it away. I loved the image of a coffin… because that’s what it was. I was allowing my heart to grow impenetrable, which, according to CS Lewis, meant irredeemable.

Last summer a group of Project Timothy missionaries and I led a girl’s retreat. We led the ladies in a reflection on the Sacred Heart of Jesus and then invited them to imagine their own hearts. What are the beauties; the wounds; the ways God has transformed them? We then all took to our artistic abilities and painted or drew our imagined hearts. I wanted to share all of this because the above-mentioned time in my life was the heart that I pictured and felt compelled to draw.

I had locked my heart away. I cut off its air and let it blacken. I let the lies the devil told me about myself—that I was ugly, damaged, used, dark, broken, wounded—take hold of this dying heart. But, Christ, showing me his own wounds, unlocked this hardened heart and brought to me a new one. He brought a child’s heart. “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Mt. 18:3). This bright pink heart held nothing except the truth about who I was as his daughter; beloved, pure, cherished, born again. My name, Kara Renee, actually means exactly this! This heart, so simple and small, was given to me to nourish and let grow into a heart that desired so deeply the love of God! To trust as a child trusts.

We all hold on to wounds. Perhaps many of us retract into those wounds and lies and let them control how we interact with the world, with others, or worse… our relationship with God. But I wanted to share this because God is the transforming power. Christ carries our wounds, he speaks truth into the lies we allow ourselves to believe, and he renews us in all things! I want to encourage anyone struggling with wounds, God’s call in their vocation, loneliness, trust, love, or much more to turn those things over to God. Trust that through him, even in the midst of hurt, we are being healed.

Where is Hell?

A while ago, I stumbled upon a video series by Fr. Chad Ripperger on the Four Last Things—Death, Judgement, Heaven, and Hell—and it changed my life. I went from a Catholic who would identify herself as lukewarm, to one truly desiring more than anything in life, to inherit the riches of the eternal kingdom and live a life of virtue (still working on it… with Christ all things are possible!).

After watching these videos, and acknowledging how transformative learning about the realities of Heaven and Hell were, I found myself asking “Where is Hell?”

NOT “Where is Hell” in terms of a physical location… but where is Hell in the Church? Where are the homilies about Hell? Where is the healthy daily meditation about the reality of death? Many Saints used to have skulls in their living spaces—not out of a morbid interest for deadly décor—but to remind themselves that this life is fleeting, and we are invited to meditate on death and eternal life to come. Where has Hell gone? Is it ridiculous to WANT a homily about Hell occasionally?

Here is my reasoning… and genuine fear with the lack of conversation and teaching on this topic:

The Devil will never cease in the pursuit of souls (1 Pet 5:8); he chose eternity apart from He who is Love (God) and wants to drag each person to that same fate. How? Spiritual warfare; leading us to turn away from God in sin… yes, of course! But also, by getting the majority to ignore him (the Devil) and to believe God and evil are not real and thus sin is not real. Perhaps we see this in the wide-spread belief that every person is “in a better place” after death. How could we know that? — (apart from those canonized of course).

The only conclusion to this dangerous (and false) mentality that is a result of the culture of silence is… If God is not real and there is no such thing as sin, then naturally we can live however we choose and there will be no eternal consequence! This is the opposite of Truth!

The Devil loves hiding in the darkness… because he can do SO MUCH damage from the shadows.

Therefore the Church is called to teach Truth! “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations… teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you” (Mt 28: 19-20). Hell is a real place, and there is every possibility that our souls may go there after death.

Now, these teachings are not meant to incite unhealthy fear! They are meant to grow the love we have for the one God who desires nothing more than our eternal beatitude in Heaven! (Latin: beatus meaning happy, blissful, fortunate, flourishing.) How so? Because the joy and eternal blessings we are made for in Heaven comes by being united to Him who is LOVE, surrounded by nothing except God himself, and wanting nothing for ourselves apart from unity with God. If this is Heaven, then Hell is the antithesis; Hell is being completely separated from God… completely separated from Love.

As we bring ourselves to learn more about the realities of the afterlife, it should bring us to understand the deep love God has for us. So great is his love, that if we choose ourselves in this life—meaning if we choose to ignore his will, separate ourselves from his love, his mercy, his grace, as evident by how we live our lives—he will honor that free choice. He will grant us this choice to live apart from his love eternally. And he grants this OUT OF LOVE. God is love (1 Jn 4:8), and can do nothing but love us. Even love us to Hell…

But God’s same response goes for those that desire to inherit eternal life and strive for that union of Love with the Spirit in this life. “What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him” (Lk 11:11-15).

God has great gifts in store for us. One of those, if we so choose, is eternal beatitude in heaven! Perhaps one of his greatest gifts on earth, however, is his mercy! Christ came to call sinners (Lk 5:32). An understanding of death, judgement, Hell, or Heaven should ultimately lead us closer to God’s eternal love! It should encourage us to RUN to his endless mercy. The Church has an endless outpouring of this grace and mercy in the Sacraments. God desires you to live with him one day in Heaven. He knows we are sinful and that we can’t do it apart from him… so he GIVES US HIMSELF in the Sacraments to help us along in this “valley of tears.”

The more we understand and meditate on our own death, the greater our love for God grows and our hearts are prepared for the transformation God intends to bring in and through us!

For more on the Four Last Things be sure to check out Fr. Ripperger’s series!

Biblical evidence for Hell:

·         Mt 3:12

·         Mt 25: 41, 46

·         Mk 9: 47-48 (referencing Isaiah 66:24)

·         2 Thess 1:6-9

·         Rev 20:10

·         Judith 16:17

Click for more passages and quotes from the Early Church Fathers.

Depiction of Mt 7: 13-14

Friday the 13th

Middle school is hard. I’ve never heard a single person express any desire to relive their middle school days. That is certainly true for me. Yet, recently, I found myself reflecting on one of my own experiences in middle school.

Friday the 13th. I don’t recall the actual date, or really, even the year; I just remember that it was a Friday the 13th. My school was taking a field trip. For whatever reason, my parents did not sign the necessary permission slip. This meant I had to stay behind. This day, I was not alone. The boy who seemed to have a mission to make my life a hell on earth, also had to stay behind. His parents didn’t sign his permission slip either. As my day began – and by “day” I mean a seven-and-a-half-hour study hall – fear and worry set in. I was sure that this boy didn’t really even know my name. If he did, he certainly didn’t seem to care. He was a cruel artist of vulgarity and a master tradesman when it came to four letter words and insults. It is likely that he could bring the most grizzled of men to tears. I can still hear the names he called me ringing in my ears all these years later.

What followed was the most unexpectedly peaceful day I remember in my time served… er… eh… my time in middle school. Bully is not a strong enough word for my experience with this young man prior to that day. But, this day, alone, just the two of us, in the same circumstances, we found peace and civility. He called me by my name throughout the day. We joked about our unfortunate lot. We found joy during what really was painfully boring. There was no mocking. No poking fun. No name calling. We ate lunch together. Peacefully. I am sure we discussed the episode of the Simpsons that was on the night before. It was a wonderful day. So impactful was this day that I still smile whenever someone issues a superstitious warning about Friday the 13th. “Really? For me, it has always been an unusually lucky and blessed day.”

In John 13:35, Jesus reminds us of something critically important, “The world will know you are my disciples by your love.” In Matthew 5:44, he also issues us a most difficult challenge, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…” That is a hard one. I didn’t love this young man. I would dare say I nearly hated him for the way he treated me every day. Those feelings often turned into fear and dread. Yet, this day, I was met with a warm and respectful person… who seemed to be entirely different. In Matthew 5:45-48, Jesus goes even further: “If you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you salute only your brethren, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

What I see in this experience are the obstacles and walls we put up that keep us from loving our neighbors as we should. Perhaps it was due to there being no one to crave attention from, no one to feel the need to impress, no one to perform for, and no one to criticize him, he was able to see me as the human being I am, and in that sense, love me as he ought. For my part, when I was able to forgive in that moment, put down my guard and see him also as a human being, and not some monstrous instrument for my torture, I, too, was able to see his own dignity, and love him in that way. Without all those walls we allowed the world to build between us, we could be friends.

I think there is a valuable lesson in this. Our call to extend love, mercy and forgiveness toward others is not somehow contingent upon circumstances we deem favorable. There is enough hate and division in the world. What it needs most is love; the love of Christ working in and through us. Inspiring our thoughts, animating our actions, transforming hearts, helping us to become who we are meant to be, setting the world on fire with that same love.

Who in your life do you find it difficult to love? How might God be calling you to love them despite the circumstances?