Motherhood: Mary and Me

This image (bottom of the page) of Mary and Jesus hangs in the entrance of my home. I have never seen another image of the two of them that I relate to more. From the second I laid my eyes on it, it reminded me of a hard time in my life.
When our first child was 5 months old I started wondering how on earth I could be a good mom? How can I live out what God calls me to? This interior struggle fell during a particularly stressful week leading Totus Tuus training for our diocese… which meant I hadn’t seen my daughter for nearly 6 days. I missed her and my husband; I felt like I was neglecting my primary vocation as a wife and mother; I was exhausted and feeling inadequate.
At adoration during training week, I decided to bring my daughter along. Towards the end, the deacon asked if I would like him and our missionaries to pray over me. I held her in my arms and went over to sit in the pew; when asked what I needed prayers I said, “that I could be a good mom.”
There were many hands laid on me while I cradled my child just as Mary cradles Jesus in this image. But there was only one hand I could focus on… as a few tears rolled down my face staring at my daughter, she reached her hand up to touch my cheek. It was as if she was trying to reassuring me. When I saw this image one month later, it brought back that beautiful moment between mother and daughter.
What does this have to do with Mary? I looked at the image and wondered… could she have thought the same things I did? “How can I do this? How can I be the mother of God? Will I be able to carry out what God has planned for me?” Here, I imagine Jesus comforting his Mother exactly as my child comforted me. God set aside his most perfect creation to be his own Mother. There is no doubt that in her humanity, God brought her great comfort for the task set aside for her. Remember… God does this for each of us, too!

Mary is Relatable

Have you ever thought of Mary and wondered how can I relate to someone who was perfect and sinless (which she was!) when I am not?

This was something I often wondered. In our early relationship, she was this far away woman who I looked up to. I knew I could never attain her perfection, but I wanted to try and be holy like her. This was a good intention! But I remembered that Mary was also human! Apart from being preserved from sin and its consequences (which is… you know… a pretty big deal), we can relate to her as human beings. She had good days. She experienced trials. She had emotions. She laughed and visited with friends. She probably had a messy kitchen occasionally; I tell myself that to feel better. Mind you, all this likely looked far different (and more holy) from our lives, but scripture shows us that Mary is relatable.

Think of the Wedding at Cana and imagine Mary at your wedding. Your guests are there to celebrate you and enjoy time with you. While this is an account of her intercession, she went to this celebration to rejoice with this couple and enjoy time with her family and friends.

Next, she lost Jesus. The Holy Parents lost the Son of God for several days! To their defense… they thought he was among the rest of the pilgrimage, but this I can relate to. I lose my daughter in our own home! She is usually hiding behind a mirror, her rocking chair, or in her closet but still...

Finally, she was a parent. All parents can relate to one another, no matter the circumstance, simply because you are on the journey of parenthood together. It’s rewarding but not always easy. I like the Passion of the Christ scene where Jesus falls and Mary runs to him. As a parent, I relate to that desire to protect my child.

God created Mary to be his sinless mother, and this means she was different from us in many ways! But that doesn’t mean she didn’t have human experiences. In her beautiful humanity, we can all find something in life we can relate to Mary.